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Review #5 - Poppi🥤
I have a feeling this will be a divisive one. Crack open a cold one and let’s get into it…
Review #5 - Poppi🥤
What Is It
Poppi is creating “the future of soda”, made with minimal sugar and prebiotics to offer a healthier twist on the classic alternative. Their flavors range from familiar “Classic Cola” to adventurous “Wild Berry”. I’ll try the following four flavors simply because they were the easiest to procure: Strawberry Lemon, Raspberry Rose, Orange, and Watermelon.
Aesthetic
I need to start off here by addressing the font.
Not to be dramatic, but this font haunts me in my sleep. For some reason, creative agencies loooooove this Recoleta font, especially when the brand is marketed towards Gen-Zs. Call me a millenial — or a huge nerd — but I am a sans-serif apologist. Obviously, font taste is a personal preference, but seriously, can we at least get a little originality?
Moving on.
Their colors and iconography are bright, fun and feminine, which makes me curious about their consumer demographic breakdown. Alternate brand name could be Girlie Pop — just a thought.
They’ve got some stunning studio photography and unique graphics so good stuff there.
Brand / Marketing
Poppi is a wonderful example of a brand who’s exceeding at “high-low” marketing. They’re spending major $$$ on certain things like a Super Bowl commercial and high-profile partnerships, while getting scrappy with social content like easy-to-execute memes and UGC from their tagged images and videos. That scrappy, startup mentality also means that when they invest big bucks into, say, a Paris Hilton DJ set, they’re squeezing aaaall the juice out of it in the form of a week’s worth of posts.
A major factor here is that their founder actually understands social media and plays a pretty decent role in their content. I’m not dumb — I know they have a very intelligent social strategist behind this whole thing — but still, there’s no replacement for a founder who’s comfortable on camera. Which leads me to my next point…
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Shark Tank. Founders who *get it* have been using Shark Tank as an additional marketing channel to amplify their brand to national awareness. Unclear if they’re seeing ROI (time is money, and let’s just say, there’s a lot you have to put into it with very little promise of actually getting on air) but it does seem to be a pattern that ends in ostensible success [see Fishwife, Deux]. Or maybe Shark Tank is getting better at selecting brands with a potential for virality. A real chicken or egg, huh.
Back to Poppi. The brand is obviously for the girls and the gays, and at the end of the day, the founder has been dubbed “Mother Poppi” by the powers that be. So whether I think it’s cringe or not, it’s clear that they understand the assignment and consistently deliver on it, both IRL and online.
Last thing, they post on Threads regularly which I think is funny. That’s all on that.
Efficacy
If you’re drinking Poppi for gut health, I’m going to stop you right there. Not to burst your microbiome bubble, but the benefits of a glorified carbonated juice containing “natural flavors” and “organic cane sugar” are going to be few and far between. Actually, one of the first rules of Gwyneth-level gut health is no processed food intake, so let that sink in.
Obviously, Poppi is a lot better for you than Fanta, so if you’re a frequent soda drinker, making the switch is certainly an improvement your body will thank you for. But replacing your daily 8 glasses of water with Poppi? Not so much. Speaking to my own experience, the only thing Poppi does for my gut is make it incredibly bloated and full of gas (SORRY, wellness isn’t always sexy).
If you want to expand this category to encompass taste, well then I can tell you that I don’t like it. If you’re sensitive to that uniquely Stevia fake sugar aftertaste, consider yourself warned. Here are the taste-test takeaways (shoutout to my sister for lending her palette):
Orange: The best one we tried, tasted like a fresher version of orange soda.
Strawberry Lemonade: Hard no. Triggers memories of Strawberry Lemonade Svedka.
Raspberry Rose: Sort of medicinal? The raspberry and rose are a real one-two punch.
Watermelon: This tastes like sugar-free watermelon gum. Not for us.
I should also mention that I’m not a soda drinker and I hate bubbly drinks. Do with all of this information as you please.
Overall Thoughts
If you’re trying to recover from a Diet Coke addiction, or you want a silly little beverage that you can crack open while you watch the Bachelor, I say go off. But if you also identify as a once-in-a-blue-moon soda drinker like myself, well, I’ll be keeping my biannual movie theater fountain Sprite in the rotation.
You can tell by now that I don’t personally love the Gen-Z girlie aesthetic, nor do I care of carbonated drinks, so I’m obviously not their target demographic. Do you though!
Rating: ⭐️⭐️.5/5
In Other News…
If you follow me, you know that it was a big week for brands I #stan.
Sakara launched their fiber powder (with a gorgeous water bottle that I obviously had to purchase. Full review on the brand to come, but the code KSSAKARA will get you a solid discount if you want to beat me to it 😉.)
Crown Affair re-launched their cult-favorite Dry Shampoo, this time with double the formula and a refillable jar.
Saie launched their Slip Tint Radiant All-Over Concealer and they had the genius idea of offering a shade match in the DMs.
Heavy Metal Water fans get pumped: Liquid Death closes $67 million in strategic financing with a $1.4 billion valuation.
The only time I’ll ever say this: I wish I lived in the Midwest so I could try the Sweetgreen hot sauce exclusive to Foxtrot. I guess I’ll just keep requesting 3 on the side with my order.
Impossible Meat now bleeds, because we were all craving that fleshy simulation.
That’s all for now. If there’s a product you want reviewed or just want to chat, reply to this email. :)