The Art of Giving Gifts
a personal wellness practice
As I began writing this introduction, I typed and backspaced, typed and backspaced, frustrated by my lack of original thoughts. I kept coming back to my main thesis—the same one I landed on last year, the thesis I live by: gift giving isn’t shallow, it’s not for the material-obsessed, it doesn’t require money, and it should ideally be done year-round. I speak for my fellow Certified Gift Givers when I say the holidays are a complicated time for us; we’re already showing up with “fun little items” on a regular basis, so the pressure is really on. Plus, gift giving is an act of love, and gift guides are expressions of creativity and taste—all of which are, technically, part of mental well-being. (I had to tie this into wellness somehow.)
Like I said, I already made my case last year. So instead of repeating myself in different words (too late), I decided I’d build out my personal philosophy on gift giving. If last year’s Gift Guide Research Paper started with my abstract, this year I’m giving you the methodology. The women in STEM hated that. So sorry. Moral of the story: I am opinionated and I love gift giving. Here are my personal guidelines:
When in doubt, give a gift.
If you’re considering, hmm, does this function require a gift? It doesn’t matter. Bring one.
Gifts don’t need to cost money, but they should cost something.
Money is not the only form of currency. Access, time, and effort count too. Here are examples of gifts that leverage an alternate form of currency: scoring an impossible dinner reservation (thank you Austin Tedesco for this one), using your TheRealReal prowess to locate the specific Miu Miu loafers your friend is desperately searching for, cooking a beautiful dinner, making a ceramic bowl, and, last but not least, a hand-written card sharing how much the recipient means to you.
Gifts do not need to be happening at the end of the year.
This is a big one. I love a random gift. It feels more special because it means you were genuinely thinking about that person in your daily life. I’ll get off this soapbox now.
Experiences are often great gifts, but they’re harder to nail.
Speaking as someone who has WAY too much stuff, I often prefer an experiential gift to a physical item. However, there is a bit of nuance involved.
If the experience you’re giving is for both you AND the recipient, you really need to know them. There is nothing worse than getting two tickets to a show with a person you’re not actually that close with. Now you have to spend two hours with them? Not that that’s a bad thing, but it can be emotionally taxing — which is antithetical to the gift-giving spirit.
If the experience is for the recipient alone, you have a lot more leeway. Still, it’s helpful to know a bit about them (i.e., approximately where they live, their interests, etc.) so you can ensure they’re getting the most out of this gift.
Gift cards do not have to be impersonal—although sometimes, impersonal is not such a bad thing.
A lot of people think gift cards are the cardinal sin of gift giving. Maybe it’s controversial, but I’m not offended by them. There are two ways to do gift cards:
1: if you know this person well, you can give them a gift card to a niche/specific store that you know they patron frequently and perhaps feel guilty about the amount of money they spend there. For instance, if someone gave me a Happier Grocery gift card, I’d be thrilled.
2: if you don’t know this person well, an Uber gift card rocks. A DoorDash gift card rocks. An Amazon gift card, not so much. A good rule of thumb: if the gift card encourages a “fun little treat,” go for it. If you get them an Amazon gift card, for instance, they’re buying toilet paper for Christmas. See what I mean?
Key takeaways: Know your recipient. Make them feel special. Be personal when applicable.
We needed to eat dinner before we could have dessert, so now that I’ve finished indoctrinating you with my gift-giving ethos, we can finally get into the gifts themselves.
Under $50
Doctor Stolberg Rest + Digest Tea
I’m a big tea-head, and this is one of my all-time favorites. Yes, it’s very soothing on the intestines, but it’s also straight up delicious. Unlike other teas that skew too sweet for me, this one is almost savory, like an herbal broth? Perhaps that wasn’t a great way to sell it, so I’ll let the packaging speak for itself.
EADEM Le Chouchou
Look, I’ve talked about this product ad nauseam, and on the one hand — enough already — but on the other, it’s really that good. A lip balm is the perfect small gift for someone you don’t know THAT well but know well enough that a little treat feels meaningful. This is the best lip balm in existence IMO.
Bioeffect Imprinting Eye Masks
This is a really good hack. Bioeffect makes the best eye serum I’ve ever tried, but it can get a little pricey. The solution: their Under Eye Masks, which satisfy both the “actually effective product” portion of the gift and the “superficial self-care moment” portion.
Soft Services Buffing Bar Book
Another known Plant Based favorite brand / product, though this time it’s even better because it involves MINIs. From the unboxing experience, to the actual application, this is a 10/10 gift.
An Actual Book
Soap Books are great, but so are actual books. The best books I’ve read in recent memory are When the Going Was Good, Exit Lane, Stay True (weird gift pick though), and Empire of Pain (definitely don’t give that as a gift).
Hard cover coffee table/cook books tend to be a safer gift option. The Gourmand’s Lemon, Ottolenghi’s Simple, and Anthony Bourdain’s Appetites would be great. Magazines that feel like little luxuries (i.e. HommeGirls, Apartmento, Interview) count too!
CAP Beauty Hot Sauce
Imagine your coworker brings you a gift and it’s hot sauce. AWESOME. Go do unto others as you would have them do unto you. This one is great, just like everything CAP makes.
DONA Spice Dust Trio
Another great dinner party hosting gift. I’m putting Masala Chai on my oatmeal every morning, and I see no end in sight.
Activist Manuka Honey 300+ MGO
I could eat this stuff by the spoonful, and I do. Especially during immune-support season, a gorgeous jar of this would be much appreciated by almost everyone.
Under $150
Hatch Restore 3 Clock
You have someone in your life who knows they should really be sleeping with their phone in the other room, and yet. No more excuses with this bad boy. The Hatch Alarm Clock is one of my favorite objects in my possession: it’s aesthetically pleasing, I can customize the colors and sleep sounds, and I wake up every morning feeling like a doll that’s fluttering its eyelids open.
Flamingo Estate (multiple items)
I’m not going to blow anyone’s mind by directing you to Flamingo Estate for your gift purchases, but humor me while I shout out what I believe to be their best products. It was too difficult to choose just one.
Juicy Strawberry Spicy Guajillo Snack: these are insanely good and they’re usually sold out but I think we might be in luck this season.
Winter Harvest Persimmon Vinegar: interesting vinegar is a salad lover’s dream.
Peak Season Fruit Box: this could get me to move back to LA
Comme Si Yves Socks
The moment you become an adult is the moment you realize socks are actually an amazing gift. The Comme Si ones are a step above, a real luxury experience. I love the Yves ones as a classic pair, but I can only imagine the cashmere would be incredible too.
If you’re going for something a little more whimsical and performance-oriented, these Sky High Farm x On socks are adorable and functional.
Hudson Wilder Lotta Coffee/Tea Cup
To go with your Doctor Stolberg tea, of course! Bonus points: this very elegant diffuser for my loose-leaf drinkers.
Celisse The Full Set
Really cute gift idea for so many of us gals (non-gendered) who love the mental health benefits of a fresh manicure but dread the nail salon experience. Again, presentation is everything.
HAY Empire Vase
+ bodega flowers = an incredible gift for a host.
Candles (multiple options)
This year I found a lot of pleasure in scent, which is a nicer way of saying I had a lot of fun with candles. I was stressing about picking a singular favorite, but then I remembered — wait, I make the rules here.
Diptyque Feu des Bois
SIDIA Wired
DS + DURGA Portable Fireplace
Byredo Bibliothèque
Sofie Pavitt Face The System Gift Set
I don’t typically love giving people skincare as a present, truthfully. It’s too bio-individual and feels a bit more like a utility rather than a luxury. HOWEVER, I think Sofie Pavitt’s products are the exception to the rule. They’re made for acne-prone skin, and I, someone who does not have acne-prone skin, still swears by them (especially the moisturizer). This set is a really great pick for anyone who’s looking to start taking better care of their skin and cares about aesthetics. It’s also a great price point so the recipient can actually re-buy the products after they finish (as opposed to getting a luxurious moisturizer once that they’ll never be able to keep up with on a regular basis). Ok, glad I got that all off my chest.
Under $250
UNNA Everywhere Pants
Apparel is a really hard thing to purchase as a gift, but when it comes from a particularly cool brand, I think it’s a risk worth taking. I’m currently living in these pants from UNNA because they’re comfortable, flattering, and I can easily break out into a stretch between my Zoom calls without stooping to sweatpants level.
Alessi Sbriciola Bread Cutting Board with Tray + Local Sourdough
I love when I stumble upon a product and the only description I can muster is GENIUS. This cutting board with a built-in crumb catcher is a prime example. I think it would pair excellently with a loaf of sourdough from the farmer’s market (Knead Love or She Wolf).
Therabody SmartGoggles
Nobody really NEEDS this, but that’s the whole fun of a gift, right? I was obviously skeptical of an eye-massager, as one should be, but then I tried it and I have to report that I love her. I know it’s not their intended use, but they’re really good at knocking you back out if you find yourself awake in the middle of the night.
Vuori Restore Oversized Hoodie
I had a complicated relationship with Vuori, but this hoodie is what truly sold me on the brand. I opt for a crew neck 9 times out of 10, and this hoodie is that 1 time. It has a relaxed fit (that’s code for it doesn’t suffocate you), its design is basic (positive), and it’s so, so soft.
Rōz The Everyday Essentials Kit
Every time I stray from this shampoo and conditioner, I regret it. It can feel a little indulgent to buy yourself fancy poo + dish—I get it—which makes this kit a great gift.
Big Ticket Items
Monastery Deep Red Mask
I’ve said all I can say about this mask in The Strategist but the TLDR is that it’s expensive as hell and it’s worth every penny.
Fellow Aiden Precision Coffee Maker
This year, I’d like to take my coffee-making a little more seriously than my busted Mr. Coffee machine is capable of. Well, that’s not entirely honest. I’d like my coffee machine to look pretty on my very limited counter space. The coffee-making upgrade is a nice bonus. Either way, this machine is my pick.
Literary Sport Louise Jacket
Literary Sport is one of, if not my favorite clothing brand of the current moment. This jacket is my prized possession.
I’m team over-ear headphones for working out. I just upgraded to these babies, and I’m VERY pleased with the comfort and sound quality.
New York Wellness / Beauty Experiences
Most of these are NYC-specific but the idea is still very much applicable to other locations.
Personal Training Sessions
An investment in our future selves! Learn how to properly lift weights so you a) develop some motivation/accountability and b) lessen your chances of injury down the line. Sure, you could give them credit to a weigh-lifting class, but personalized instruction is the real gift. Think of this as some real teach-a-man-to-fish vibes. There are some epic trainers in this article, or DM me personally if you want me to connect you with mine.
Membership to a Bathing Club
I’m picky about my bathing club experiences, and both Akari and Lore in New York check the boxes for me. They’re soothing, quiet, beautifully designed, clean, and of course, have great sauna setups. They also have great plunge setups, but frankly, I’d be perfectly content never cold plunging again in my life.
Hair Appointment at Jenna’s on Ninth
Every time I get my hair done in this city I’m astounded by the cost. I’ve tried to cut corners before, (one time I got my hair cut by a student at the Aveda school. It went badly, to be polite) but every time I do, I re-learn what the phrase “cheap ain’t cheap” means. Jenna’s on Ninth is a great, no-frills experience. I got a Lazio (better-for-you Keratin) there, and it’s changing my life. Talk about high maintenance to be low maintenance. Two of the most tasteful women I know, tariro makoni and Tenlie Mourning, told me I was “giving Olsen twins” so yeah, I’ll be back.
Great Products That Could Be Weird to Gift to Others So You Should Just Gift Them to Yourself
Victoria Beckham Beauty The Concealer Pen
Hands down best makeup product I own. I’ll admit I’m a Posh stan, but I really appreciate the fact that she worked with certified skincare expert Augustinus Bader on a “makeup-as-skincare” formula instead of just half-assing both. This is the only concealer that stays on my face without creasing or pilling.
Needed Collagen Protein
I understand I’m not the target demographic for this product (new moms) but it’s really good. I can’t be bothered to use more than 1 powder at a time, so I love that this knocks out both some daily protein requirements and my collagen desire. I put it in my coffee every morning and there’s no weird taste or clumping.
Margin DHK Defence Serum
This product rocks, especially during skinflammation season, and the packaging is a literal work of art. Plus, Drew is our guy.
AUNU Manuka Salve
Talk about skinflammation season, this salve is a godsend for my red, irritated skin. I put it on top of my moisturizer usually at night but sometimes during the day when I’m feeling particularly uncomfortable with what’s happening on my face. Dermatitis, be gone.
What I’m Asking For
A trip to Palm Heights
It looks like heaven and I’m ready to see it for myself.
A lymphatic drainage massage
I haven’t stopped thinking about getting one since I wrote this. I want to flush it all out.
A reservation at Tatiana
My final shameless ask. If anyone knows someone…
I’m legally obligated to remind you once again that a hand-written card is the best gift of all.
"Great Products That Could Be Weird to Gift to Others So You Should Just Gift Them to Yourself" is an incredibly necessary category
Relate to you on a spiritual level with this one