How to Find Motivation
well, you can't actually "find" it, per se...
One of the worst things you can be in is a rut. That’s an empirical fact.
A rut is most commonly associated with creativity — a writer’s / painter’s / musician’s block, for instance — but the feeling of stagnation and mild dread applies to all aspects of life. A rut is when autopilot goes too far — you’re stuck on a hamster wheel you barely remember stepping onto, too exhausted / uninterested / busy to look for the exit. The worst part about ruts is that they’re really difficult to escape. Extra really for emphasis.
Ruts and depression are commonly conflated, but it’s important to draw a distinction between the two. A rut is when you’re operating through life with a weighted vest on. Depression is when you’re operating (or not) through life while carrying a clingy, unrelenting sumo wrestler on your back.*
Here is where I take one for the team and admit I’ve been in a rut lately. Cue audience gasp. A creative one, a spiritual one, a health one, even an emotional one. I know I’m in a rut because my journal sounds like a toddler on the verge of a temper tantrum; none of the food I usually like tastes good any more, nothing on the internet is making me chuckle anymore, everyone is irritating me — including myself, what am I even supposed to be doing with my existence?
Ruts like these are particularly scary to me because I lack the core tenets of my personality that make me mentally and physically sharp. The gratitude has disappeared, right along with my joie de vivre. I start to feel like a foreign being in my body — and my body feels like a foreign being itself. But because life is, much to my chagrin, largely about self-parenting, I know an attitude adjustment is in order so I try desperately to get back in touch with my high-performing tendencies.
The antidote to a rut is motivation with a dash of inspiration. Ah yes, the ever-elusive motivation. There are plenty of theories about motivation, so I won’t step on Nietzsche’s toes over here. I care a lot more about how to feel motivation than what it actually is, although the latter probably (definitely) informs the former.
Finding motivation, as common as the phrase is, is not real. I wish it was though — I like to envision myself walking around with a metal detector, hoping it starts dinging at random so I can just dig up some spare motivation to use. However, motivation is something we’re forced to kickstart internally. The good news is that motivation and inertia go hand in hand, and once you start to feel a little bit of that excitement for [life/work/creativity/relationships], action begets action, and pretty soon, you’re motivated by your own motivation.
Before I physically morph into Tony Robbins, let’s get to the good stuff. Here is how I personally have arrived at (read: created) motivation – or something of the sort — in my own life most recently.
1. Wake Up 10 Minutes Earlier
Some of you are not going to want to hear this, but moving up your wakeup time just a hair can really make all the difference. Everyday the world inundates us with external stimuli (Slack messages, sirens on the street, even newsletters in your inbox not unlike this one), and you owe it to yourself to preserve your mental clarity before the sensorial assaults start.
This extra chunk of time will come up again in our quest for motivation, but this little window in the morning specifically is important because it allows you to connect with your one true soul essence (omg) before anything interferes with it. You might have to go on Airplane Mode overnight so that way when you wake up and instinctually go to check your phone, there will be nothing to engage with. There’s no such thing as will power, allegedly.
2. Flowers in the House
I’m going to sound like I’m high on something, but there is nothing more perspective-shifting than nature. LOOK AROUND PEOPLE. These pretty little (living) things just grow? Like that? It’s amazing.
What we’re really going for here is a feeling of awe, and fresh flowers feel like the easiest, most enduring entry point. Cutting up some colorful tomatoes can get the job done too, though.
3. Self-Reflect
For me, this takes the form of meditation or journaling or both. Every single time before I do these activities, I feel an immense internal resistance. I know it’s because a) I don’t want to stop whatever I’m doing to get still and b) I don’t want to poke the bear that is my big ol brain. But every single time I accomplish these activities, I feel not only a sense of euphoria, but a sense of accomplishment (these things are actually synonymous for Capricorns).
It’s only when I self-reflect as such that I can identify the whiny voice in my head as the ungrateful toddler inside of me. Once I hear her, I can pretty easily snap back to reality and start ruminating on all of the rich, fulfilling elements of my life instead. And you know what they say — where the attention goes, the energy flows, or something like that.
4. Close a Tab or Two
I mean this literally and metaphorically (gag). Get real, you’re not going to read that New Yorker article later. It’s just going to lurk on your browser into oblivion.
Digital clutter, like physical clutter, clogs the space where inspiration, excitement, and — of course — motivation could bloom. Try...
Clearing space in your calendar
Ruthlessly disposing of expired documents in your desk drawer
Enforcing a no-plan Saturday
Unsubscribing from marketing emails (sort of illegal from a marketer who’s writing those emails, but…)
5. Up the Joie de Vivre Index
The energy is stale. You’ve lost the zest for life. Manual intervention is in order.
I’m lucky enough to be on a trip to Aspen Snowmass (that’s the official name guys), courtesy of The Little Nell, and I was hit with an epiphany while off-roading around Aspen mountain. (Yes, I realize how White Lotus that sounds but please stick with me. Also, I’m euphoric and this place is amazing.)
Humans aren’t experiencing enough awe these days. I accidentally went on a five minute, Fran Lebowitz style monologue about our collective lack of presence and gratitude, which causes us to take the small (or big) wonderful moments that make life worth living for granted. Our guide and local legend, Steve, emphatically agreed.
I stood in front of a snow-covered mountain, the sound of water rushing down a creek, finally understanding why the word ‘dumbfounded’ is in our vocabulary. I had no words.
This is certainly not the first time I’ve felt awe. In fact, it’s one of my favorite feelings. So I know that when I’m in a rut, it means I’ve forgone the active participation in my life that is required to feel awe. AKA: the JDV index is dangerously low.
I’m not going to tell you that you need to go to the middle of the Rocky Mountains in order to up your joie de vivre (although if you can, I highly recommend), when you can experience it in much simpler ways:
Lighting a new candle and watching it burn for a minute
Looking out at the city skyline at night
Buying a pastry from the local cafe and eating it without any distractions, purely experiencing the flavors and textures
Watching kids interact among themselves
Start upping the JDV index and you’ll find that motivation to create a fulfilling, awe-inspiring life for yourself floods your whole being, tsunami style.
6. New Visuals
In a similar spirit as number 5, intake new inspiration. New art is always a good idea. I mean art in the broad sense: movies, sculpture, you name it. Food can count, if you really want. I do think there should be some sort of visual component to this, so I’ll forgo music here even though it really does have the power to change my life. If you have synesthesia, you’re exempt. At a primal minimum, you’ll enjoy some new colors and shapes and sounds. And at most, you’ll walk out with a completely new perspective on life.
Some recommendations for media consumption:
The new Psycho Killer music video, starring Saoirse Ronan
Clips from Coco Gauff’s big win. You’re going to tell me you’re not juiced up after watching this?!
going to the farmer’s market as a live action immersive experience
call me basic, but an A24 movie with incredible cinematography like Call Me By Your Name or Past Lives can do wonders
7. Talk to a Friend Who’s Doing Well
“Call a friend” is right up there with “go for a walk” and “drink some water” in the cliche advice hall of fame, and while it’s generally good advice, it requires some stipulation.
The friend we are going to call in this situation is not one who’s struggling with their love life or one who’s about to move across the country, or even one who is “just vibing out.” All love to them, but be honest *David Beckham voice*, they’re not exactly motivating. The friends who are starting new jobs, taking up new hobbies, building inspiring lives for themselves — that’s who you gotta talk to. How lucky are we to surround ourselves by people who love us and challenge us to be the best versions of ourselves?
I understand that these all sound somewhat vague, but unfortunately motivation is intangible and therefore requires some intangible catalysts. Sorry, I don’t make the rules.
*That’s my experience, at least.
Katie this is so so good, thank you. You are #mytonyrobbins
Byeeeee getting Up Your JVD Index tattooed on my forehead!