As I set out to write this piece, an article from the New York Times came across my desk that perturbed me. Actually, a TikTok about said article came across my DMs. “If you want to be happy in 2025, stop asking yourself how to level up,” the creator demanded, “And instead, ask yourself how you can show up.”
Panic ensued. I already had this headline in the drafts, plotting its appropriately timed New Year’s strike. How could she come for this newsletter before I even published it? Was this the Universe telling me to rethink this entire thing? I was pretty proud of the punchy headline I had already written, and I wasn’t in the mood to go back to the drawing board. I have to believe the Universe was in agreement. Right?!?!
I spiraled for approximately 30 more seconds before I realized that her catchy hook did not apply to me. I already covered the “if you want to be happy” and “ask yourself how you can show up” bases. Twice, I might add!
How to Feel Good will ideally get you from -1 to 1. How to Become an Optimist will solidify that get-well-quick scheme into a foundation for continued well-being. Today’s piece, How to Level Up, will take you from 1 to somewhere in the 3-4 range. At least, I hope.
As someone who’s been interested in wellness for at least a decade, I’ve tried a lot of really weird shit. Straight up. Some of it was a one-time experience under the guise of research (I had no platform with which to disseminate that research, just to be clear). Some of it was with the hopes that [insert Venice Beach practitioner] would placate my endless curiosity for understanding life and experience the pinnacle of well-being. Oh wait. That TikTok about achieving happiness without optimization is sinking in now…
I know that true happiness is radical acceptance and detachment. Really, I do. I’ve listened to quite a few episodes of 10% Happier, okay? But here’s my question: why can’t I want to improve? What if that’s what makes me happy? Does that mean I’m a toxic girlboss for wanting to uplevel my wellness practices in an effort to be my best self? Or just a cog in the capitalist machine? Or both…
I don’t often say that books change my life (even though I find hyperbole to be humorous), so I mean it with this one. It gave me the permission I needed to stop apologizing for my unending wants and innate hustle in this world that suddenly started fantasizing about “slow living.”
This summer, I was eating late night tacos with my dear friend
, and something she said really stuck with me. She told me she’s come to terms with the fact that she’s someone with really big desires. Full stop. That’s the radical acceptance I’m going for.I like to exercise. I like to eat vegetables. I like to feel good. I like to accomplish goals and face the next challenge in the game of life. Sue me. No offense, but I don’t see how that’s any different from some dude playing World of Warcraft, or whatever.
So let’s get down to it. There a finite number of fancy devices and memberships and cleanses one can attempt in order to take their health to the next level, for lack of a non-bro-y term (which is half the problem with self-improvement, come to think of it).
The real game-changing add-ons aren’t expensive — that’s what makes them more challenging. It would be so much easier to throw money at a sauna or a masseuse and be a healthier person (which, not no…). But to, I don’t know, spend time alone with yourself without distractions? That’s called being a health warrior.
Here are my six tips for making your life a hell of a lot better without spending (big) bucks.
Stretch
Let’s start off with an easy one. Stretching is one of those things where if you forget about (read: avoid) doing it, you don’t notice until it’s too late.
I don’t need to bore you with a clinical list of benefits, but I will say that if you are working at a desk all day, odds are you need to stretch. Believe me, I thought I was exempt for a long time, claiming that I was “active.” News flash: if you’ve ever sat on the couch watching TV while scrolling on your phone and answering emails on your computer (otherwise known as a Tech Triple Threat), you probably don’t count as active in this scenario.
As I said, I was a textbook stretch-dodger. It took getting confronted by a Pilates instructor for my bad posture — and then receiving a homework assignment to fix it — in order for me to make it a habit.
So I’m saying this for myself as much as I am for you — you can take five minutes out of your day to do a pigeon stretch. Your hip flexors will thank you.
Focus on Fiber
Otherwise known as eat a f***ing vegetable. There’s a lot of pro-protein chatter out there, and a lot of reactionary chatter claiming that fiber is going to follow in protein’s footsteps as the next big thing. Please, guys. I’m all for a trend forecast, but for eating vegetables? We’ve gone too far.
Eat protein, sure. Most of you aren’t Olympic level athletes — or athletes, period — so you shouldn’t be stressing about how many grams you’re gonna hit for the day. Relax.
Here is my weekly old guy quote: Hippocrates was ahead of his time with the his “all disease begins in the gut” take. These days, the gut-brain axis data seems to proliferate as fast as our microflora, with links to skin health, our nervous systems, chronic illnesses, and more.
If disease begins in the gut, so does the opposite: ease, a.k.a. good health. (Food for thought. It was too easy, sorry!).
One of the easiest things you can do to take care of your gut is to eat a variety of fruits and vegetables. If you want to put a number on it, go for 30 per week. Americans famously have awful fiber consumption stats; the recommended daily amount is between 25-38 grams for adults, and the average American eats 10 grams, to put it in perspective.
You’re in for a treat because today you get a second old guy quote, and one of my favorites: “Eat food, not too much, mostly plants.” Michael Pollan, if you’re reading this, I’m sorry I called you old.
Spend Time Alone With Yourself
How do you know what your hopes and dreams and desires are if you don’t listen to yourself? Or, at the very least, if you feel okay?
Being a person on this planet is a complicated feat, largely due to the fact that it requires constant caretaking of these bodies we find ourselves in. Not to be all *adulting 🤪* but I often remind myself that I need to be my own parent, and that requires listening inwards. I also need to be my own best friend, and that requires quality time. After all, you’re the only person on this Earth you have the whole entire time, so you might as well like them enough to hang out with them.
Another way to frame this conversation is through the lens of feeling your emotions fully, no matter how uncomfortable they are. It’s much easier to emotionally stuff yourself with a number of vices (food, social media, TV, even reading), but shoving your feelings down doesn’t make them go away. You might as well get them over with now. They’re not going to last at peak strength for over 90 seconds and remember, if you don’t cry now, the body will keep the score later.
Challenge: go on a walk for ten minutes without listening to anything. Just see what’s inside that noggin of yours.
Dry Brush
Yes, this is something that makes a noticeable difference in your overall well-being. While “lymphatic drainage” and its “detoxification effects” can feel illusive, especially when you hear one too many influencers talking about it, it is actually legit.
Dry brushing stimulates your lymphatic system, meaning it helps the lymph (fluid) move throughout your body. Lymph, which is essential in protecting our bodies from disease, bacteria, and waste, can build up easily since it lacks a pulse of its own to move it through the body. Therefore, when you dry brush, you’re preventing fluid build up and aiding in circulation and detoxification.
That was the abridged version, but I think this article does a pretty thorough job at breaking it all down. Lisa Levitt Gainsley is also a great follow if you’re into this topic.
When it comes to dry brushing, I like it for a) a little boost of energy I can feel when I stimulate aforementioned lymph and b) physical exfoliation of dead skin cells before I get into the shower. This one is my favorite.
Chew Your Food
Stop laughing at me! This is important! I understand this is one of the first things you learn how to do on this planet, but I have to admit that I do a pretty bad job of it. At the risk of sounding completely unattractive to any potential suitors reading this, I felt very seen by Patrick inhaling Krabby Patties vacuum cleaner-style.
My New Year’s Resolution (ICYMI it’s actually subversive now to have a resolution) is to chew my food until it’s liquid. Like it’s supposed to be.
Consistency
Y’all aren’t gonna like this one, but the number one most impactful thing you can do to improve your health is to do whatever your feel-good things are over and over again. As my ever so wise health coach Daphne Javitch says, repetition can be a form of change. I’ll let that sink in.
As always, I welcome your level 2 wellness practices with open arms. :)
Okay to be fair, chewing food to liquid state is hard work and time-consuming
All here for the fiber > protein message. Apart from prebiotic sodas, it’s shocking how little pro-fiber messaging there is.